![]() After a downward spiral into “drinking, drugging, and purging,” Doyle found sobriety and the authentic self she’d been suppressing. Emblematically arranged into three sections-“Caged,” “Keys,” “Freedom”-the narrative offers, among other elements, vignettes about the soulful author’s girlhood, when she was bulimic and felt like a zoo animal, a “caged girl made for wide-open skies.” She followed the path that seemed right and appropriate based on her Catholic upbringing and adolescent conditioning. ![]() “Four years ago,” she writes, “married to the father of my three children, I fell in love with a woman.” That woman, Abby Wambach, would become her wife. In her third book, Doyle ( Love Warrior, 2016, etc.) begins with a life-changing event. More life reflections from the bestselling author on themes of societal captivity and the catharsis of personal freedom. Her personal tenacity is something of a miracle, and readers of this honest, engaging memoir will wish the author well. If on occasion Lords sounds a wee superficial (“Howard Fine's annual Christmas party was a must appear, so I searched my closet for a festive frock”), you can see she knows how to play the Hollywood survival game. As if out of nowhere (it’s not clear where she discovered her musical talent), she charged to the top of the charts as a techno queen, meanwhile grabbing roles in Melrose Place and Roseanne, all the while contending with her past as a porn star. ![]() With a self-control that invites admiration, she got roles in R-rated flicks, worked her way up to John Waters movies, and then a sequence of TV and film roles. Still a teenager, Lords pulled in the reins and, remarkably, engineered her own reversal of fortune. Federal agents finally started giving child pornography the scrutiny it deserved, but the actors, not the producers, bore the public brunt of their investigation. And that's what got me off.” But it was hardly a joyous milieu drugs and booze calmed her, while a series of wretched relationships gave her glancing moments of security. She captures this dark and rotten world with all its ambiguities-and hers: “ allowed me to release all the fury I'd felt my entire life. To make money, she agreed to do some nude posing (she was still only 15 when Penthouse featured her as a centerfold), and from there it was an alarmingly simple step to pornographic movies. Sexually abused by one of her mother’s boyfriends, she fled home at 15. She hailed from a low-rent Ohio mill town, product of a drunken father and a feckless mother, soon divorced. Wary, defiant, not a little defensive, and not a little pissed off, Lords recaptures her youthful voice as she excavates all the rocks on her road from underage porn star to singer and actress.
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